Episode 146: Overcome Your Fear of Being Judged on LinkedIn | Story Snacks Series
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You want to post more on LinkedIn. You know it matters. You've probably even got a draft sitting there.
But the fear of being judged, specifically by people who already know you in real life, keeps stopping you cold.
In this Story Snack, Stacy Havener breaks down exactly why that happens, why your brain is making it bigger than it is, and how to move through it without just white-knuckling your way to the post button.
Listen in to learn:
The behavioral bias that makes the fear of being judged feel so intense
How to make peace with your posts not being everyone’s jam
The art of owning who you are online and letting the wrong people opt out
This is Story Snacks, a bite-sized, jam-packed series for fund managers who are ready to master strategic storytelling in under 20 minutes a week.
TRANSCRIPT
Below is an AI-generated transcript and therefore it may contain errors.
[00:00:00] Stacy Havener: Craving more knowledge, but don't always have time to sit down for a five course meal. Take a quick snack break with story snacks, bite-size content to feed your funnel. Each short episode features Stacey, digging into one question. This series has her talking stories, sales, and so much more. Oh yeah, it's time for story snacks.
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[00:01:57] We got a lot of great questions here on Billion [00:02:00] Dollar Backstory Podcast in our mailbag, but this has to be one of my more favorite questions because it's very near and dear to my authentic heart. Here it is. I want to get more active on LinkedIn. I want to be more authentic, but how do you deal with the fear of being judged?
[00:02:21] Wait for it. By people who already know you, like friends, former colleagues, and old classmates. That's what blocks me the most. Ugh, I get it. I mean, I get it. And it would be easy for me to say, and also real for me to say like, we're gonna have to play through this, but I'm not gonna just say like, do it anyway, because that's not helpful.
[00:02:48] I think I would point to behavioral science here to start and say that these are very real feelings and they're also subject [00:03:00] to bias. And the bias here is the spotlight effect, which I fall into lots and lots of times. I just had a conversation with a friend this morning and I was lamenting about something and he was kind of like, nobody really cares that much about what you do.
[00:03:17] And I'm like, yeah, good point. And that's the spotlight effect. It's the idea that we think people care about us more than they do. We think people care about us at the same level that we care about us. We think people are like looking at our hair and judging it the way we are, or like what we're saying or wearing, or how we show up on LinkedIn.
[00:03:40] The reality is that people don't really care. About us. They care about them, and that is not said to make you feel bad. It's said to give you freedom that you can do or be or say or [00:04:00] post whatever you want because people don't really care. So that's kind of the first thing, and that is still, by the way, it's not the same as do it anyway, but I realize it's fairly close to do it anyway.
[00:04:12] But it is something like when my friend said this to me this morning, I was like, oh, he's so right. It does sort of stop you when you're tracks because I think what happens to us is like we sort of get on like a mental hamster wheel about it. It just keeps getting like faster and faster and bigger and bigger, and we're like, um, and then you're terrified.
[00:04:33] Like you can't even move. You're paralyzed. So remind yourself of the spotlight effect. Nobody really cares. Right? And then do it Anyway. The other thing I would say is, let's just play it out. All right. Let's pro and con this thing and let's play it out. Let's say you post something and your former colleagues.
[00:04:57] Don't like it. [00:05:00] Well, if that's how you really feel, they would not like it in real life. They would not like it. With green eggs and ham, they would not like it in a tree. They would not like it on a bus. They would not like it, right? I mean they would just not. So it doesn't matter that you're on LinkedIn because the reality is if you feel that those colleagues that don't like it on LinkedIn aren't gonna like it in real life either.
[00:05:28] And again, why don't we just sort of like cut to the chase here. They're probably not your peeps. They're probably not picking up your vibe anyway. Like if you didn't know that was Dr. Seuss, you might think I'm crazy. What the hell is she talking about? Yeah, okay. I don't care. Because the people who know that's Dr.
[00:05:46] Seuss are laughing right now because I just work Green Eggs and Ham into a podcast episode. So I think it's a little bit of standing. With conviction in what makes us, [00:06:00] us and what we believe in and what we don't believe in, and how we like to show up or what we think is funny or cool or interesting, and realizing that everybody is not going to like those things and that's fine because they're not gonna like them on LinkedIn or real life anyway.
[00:06:17] So let's just, let's just get there. Let's just get there. And let's realize that like we're not trying to be everyone's cup of tea. We're really not. And that is somehow what shows up for us on LinkedIn or when we write, or when we pitch, or when we meet somebody new. Even if in real life we sort of know intellectually that like we're not gonna be for everyone and we're not gonna be everyone's friend.
[00:06:45] We forget that when we start creating content or building our personal brand. And I just wanna remind you that it's okay. The people who like you are gonna like you on LinkedIn and in real life and the people who don't same, and [00:07:00] you know they're not for you anyway, so you might as well be you. I hope that helps.
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[00:08:28] That's ul. T-I-M-U-S. You've got the investment strategy, the vision, the track record. Now it's time to upgrade the engine behind it all with ultimas. This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon as a basis for investment decisions. The information is not an offer, solicitation, or recommendation of any of the funds, services, or products, or to adopt any investment strategy.
[00:08:57] Investment values may fluctuate and past [00:09:00] performance is not a guide to future performance. All opinions expressed by guests on the show are solely their own opinion and do not necessarily reflect those at their firm. Manager's appearance on the show does not constitute an endorsement by Stacey Haven or Haven or Capital Partners.
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